I have a wonderful friend called Rosie who I met a few weeks after she moved to NZ from Korea. Her English was very limited and we had hilarious conversations and a few games of charades to communicate when we first met.

We were talking about our families and she asked me, “In your house, are you plenty power?” I asked her what she meant. Rosie said, "In my house, I am in charge. I am powerful woman. I am plenty power.” "Oh yes," I said - "I am plenty power too!"

I love this saying and use it a lot. Rosie was talking about the difference between our cultures and how she saw NZ women as ‘modern women’ unlike some traditional Korean women who were expected to be very subservient to their husbands and children.

None of us were created to do life on our own. As humans, we were designed to support each other. We are social beings who need others to enhance our lives. The interesting thing about modern living is that we have become unhelpfully independent. We have become crazy, capable, stressed-out little islands who have lost the ability to ask for help or even notice when help is required!

My husband and I still live in the small town that we grew up in. We get asked all the time why we have never moved. Raising our children close to their grandparents was very important to us. Being working parents of four children, we knew that we were going to need some help, so it was a deliberate plan.

In 2018, I wrote a book called “Juggling in High Heels”. It was about managing chaos. It was written for women who wanted to have it all. I have always believed that women can have, do and be whatever they want. I do believe that women can have ‘it all’ but I am wise enough to know that we cannot have it all at the same time.

We have to be conscious about who and what we are being at every moment.

The problem with the ‘have it all’ philosophy is that we are sandwiched in a weird space.

We have pushed past the limited beliefs of our Mothers. We know that we can have the careers we want, we have raised powerful daughters who know their worth. We demand more from our men as meaningful partners than was asked of our fathers.

Learning to like the person that we are, I believe, is some of the most important work that we can do in our lives. There is no doubt that we are stuck with ourselves. The relationship that we have with ourselves is without a doubt the most powerful one.

We cannot get away! There is a lot to learn and a lot to understand. We need to make peace with our bodies, we need to understand our minds and we need to connect with our souls.

You and your body are in an arranged marriage. It's time to commit to what your body needs and wants to make your life work. Rolling around in a body you hate, one that isn’t fit for purpose is not a wonderful way to live.

I had a huge response to my blog on Tuesday about exhausted providers.

There are a lot of people starting 2024 with a hangover from 2023. They might have ‘been away’ but they are still exhausted.

They are tired. Tired of trying. Tired of being disappointed. Tired of feeling misunderstood.

Not physically tired but they are ‘soul tired’. They are depleted from doing everything for everyone else and nothing that lights them up.

You might think you are stuck. That you are unmotivated. After being in survival for so long most of us are depleted.

And the answer is selfishness! It’s time to be selfish. It’s time to stop self-sacrificing.

You might be one. You might know one.

Exhausted providers are capable. Good at what they do. They are able to solve problems, sort shit out, they constantly come up with solutions.

They are committed. They are wonderful parents, workers, bosses and friends. They do what they say they are going to. They don’t like letting people down.

They care. They are kind and in service to others. They want their people to be happy. They often give at the expense of themselves.

The world offered us a big promise. We were promised that if we were ‘good’ and if we did all the right things, then we would be rewarded. We would be happy.

I have spent the past 6 weeks locked away writing a new book!

It's a book about Energy. It is 25 years of learning. It’s about awareness, understanding and action.

One of my favourite things to do in the new year is to write down all the things that I am looking forward to. My Purpose Planner has a “year at a glance” section where you can see all 12 months over two pages.

Last year, I sold out of my book "Everything You Want". It is now back in stock and I spent the holidays reading it!

Reading your own book is a weird experience. It feels weirdly familiar but distant at the same time. It takes me back to my thinking at the time of writing.

Everything You Want was written to help people to get what they want. The two biggest blocks for getting what you want are believing that you can have what you want and then knowing what to do to get it!

We all have the power to do what we want. The problem is that we forget.

A friend messaged me today.

She was asking me about burnout and crashing and the balance of being under and overstimulated.

Here is my reply:

I have so much experience of that. My whole life! I have pushed myself to my edges, I have maxed myself out. Awareness is the answer - learning to get to know yourself. To know your edges. Notice when you get close to them. When you feel yourself getting stretched, you notice before you feel fried. It’s easy to get into a cycle of exhaustion, illness, and critical judgment. Self-judgement is the worst. It’s harsh and mean.

What do you want in 2024?

What do you want to have, do, and be?

People often cannot answer this seemingly simple question. They cannot answer because they feel stuck. You are not stuck, you are not lazy. After years of survival mode, you are exhausted.

My advice to people who are exhausted is always the same. Do More. More they exclaim! I’m wrecked - how can I do more?

You need to do more of what lights you up.

More of what fills your soul with joy!

It is possible that Boxing Day is my favourite day of the year. Not just this year but every year!

I deliberately do nothing on Boxing Day. I have never been to a Boxing Day Sale. The thought of queues with people fighting over sale goods after the busyness of December leaves me cold.

I make Boxing Day all about me!

December seems to be all about everyone else. It’s about attending everyone's end-of-year celebrations, about buying gifts for everyone who has contributed to our lives - the teachers, the support people, clients, & friends. It’s about sorting food for everyone who comes. Sorting presents under the tree, sorting the decorations on the tree! So much doing!

It is an interesting time of year and I have noticed people being grumpy and fatigued. I started thinking about why we all bother

31.6% of the world identify as Christian and while I realise that nowhere near 100% of the world celebrates Christmas, there is a huge percentage of us who are ‘doing Christmas’ without buying into the ‘reason for the season’!

This is a wonderful time of the year to celebrate yourself! Self Celebration is about celebrating, acknowledging, and accepting yourself right now.

Honour, invest, and celebrate are three of my favourite actions that I do to support myself.

I honour myself by resting, giving myself the nutrients, the nourishment, and care that I need to be at my best. Food, sleep, rest, and space.

I invest in myself by providing the people and things that I need to feel amazing - think massage, healing, books, teachers, and supplements.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year… is it though?

I don’t know about you but this Christmas feels heavy. It feels hard. It could be that we are all fatigued by years of fuckery, it could be that financially things feel tougher. There seems to be a layer of lead hanging in the doorway replacing the fun and flirty mistletoe this year.

I am a crazy positive person who prides themselves on having an over flowing cup - so what worries me most is if I am feeling heavy, what are other people going through?

Twelve years ago, I took my 8-year-old daughter to the doctor concerned that she had lost weight, was incredibly grumpy and was eating and drinking a lot more than ever before. My doctor said she was probably just having a growth spurt and not to worry. As we walked out, he said, 'We could test her blood sugar levels if you want'? Her blood sugars were 29.8 (A ‘normal’ person's blood sugars sit between 4 - 6). The nurse offered me a cup of tea and a hug - I still had no idea what this number meant and then the doctor suggested we call an ambulance!