Mother’s Day

Happy Mother's Day to everyone doing the Mothering!  

Becoming a mother has taught me so much. Mostly about myself! 

How strong I am, how resilient and quick-thinking I can be, how soft and squidgy I am and how much love I have for so many.

Before I was a mother, my idols were high-achieving business women. Within a month of giving birth, I was in awe of anyone who could have a shower and cook a meal in one day!

I think of my children as tenants. Tenants who moved into my body and then moved out. Some are good tenants, others throw wild parties and completely mess up your building! As mothers, we sacrifice our bodies, our hormones and our pelvic floors and our waistlines!

As mothers, we give up our sleep, our money, our time and sometimes our minds!  

Parenting is, in my experience, the most incredible personal development journey possible. Trying to be patient with a miniature version of yourself teaches us more than we can imagine! 

To be permanently responsible for the well-being of another causes both great angst and great joy. Many of us sign up for this journey, all idealistic. We have a vision. We have a plan. And then the child arrives! 

Some are born tricky, some are born sensitive. A clever parent knows that their parenting must be designed to meet the energy of the child. 

Some children are easy and calm. They float along in a way that life expects. They play the game, learn some stuff, like some stuff and gather some people and experiences along the way.

Some arrive ready for battle. They are wilful. They challenge everything. They are born with their fists in the air. They are bloody challenging. I believe that our children are our master teachers.

Each child comes perfectly packed with gifts, challenges and bonus content. Our job is to create a safe space for them to crack open, for them to practice and try ways of being. To build soft walls for them to bump into. To help them while they try to understand and make sense of the world that they are part of.

After 25 years in the parenting game, I know that we are too hard on ourselves. We need to stop. We need to let go of our idealistic ideas, and we need to forgive ourselves. We need to quit comparing ourselves to that parent who seems to have it all together. Trust me, they don’t. They’re struggling too at times.

Parenting is hard. We are judged and misunderstood, and in reality, 95% of us are just doing the best we can on whatever day it is. Helping our children navigate this weird world is big work. Teaching them to check in with themselves, to trust themselves, to recognise their responses and reactions.

When you have small children, the days are long but the years are short. Whatever stage your child is going through that might be frustrating you right now, it will pass... Quicker than we think. And then a new frustration will come up. Yay! But that one will pass, too. And eventually, our kids will move out.

Two of my children have now left home. I was asked recently if that made me sad. It makes me glad. I love that I have helped to facilitate two humans who are happy and healthy and ready to take on the world. I love watching and supporting them through the bumps and bruises of learning to be independent adults. 

We all parent so differently, I believe that each child chooses their mother & father for what they have to learn.  

I am so very grateful to each of my four tenants for choosing me, it is an honour to be their Mum. I am insanely grateful to my own Mum for everything she has done, sacrificed and taught me. I chose well. X