Hard to Help
Are you hard to help? I am! I am clever, capable, and with high standards, which means I can do most things and often take on a lot!
If this sounds like you - you will be hard to help. The people around you will be throwing their hands up in the air, not knowing what to do or how to help.
If you are someone who is hard to help, I have two tips for you!
Decisions & Details
Decide what you need help with, what you would like to outsource and ask ahead of time. If you have high standards, give details and context about what you need so you are setting the helping person up with a chance of success!
If you are close to someone who is hard to help, then here is my advice:
Ask what you can do. If they say nothing, believe them. Some people are control freaks and are literally happier if they do everything themselves. Some are victims and want to do everything, and then complain about doing everything!! Let that go. If you offered help and it was not received, then they might not feel like there is anything you can do.
I work on the belief that there is always something you can do. Always something helpful that needs to be done.
Often, busy people are overwhelmed and haven’t got time to think on your behalf about what YOU can do!
'Just do something' is my version of Nike’s slogan. Turn up. Drop off a coffee, buy toilet paper, leave $50 in the letterbox. People often don’t help because they feel inadequate. They use stories like, I can’t cook, I don’t bake, etc. The best help is often the most practical. Walk the dog, sweep the path, clean the loo, bring in the washing.
There is always a way you can help. Think about the person and what they like or would appreciate.
When I had my first baby, I was blessed with a mother and a mother-in-law who were incredible. They would turn up. I would walk into my laundry and find one of them there folding washing. They didn’t ask. They just did it. They walked in and found something to do.
People thinking about you and doing something for you are wonderful. Helping others always makes me feel good. I love the idea of giving others what you want to receive. If you would love more help, then maybe go out and help someone else.
