Unprocessed Feelings

Have just spent 4 days running a retreat. I love running retreats - creating experiences for people to experience themselves is very powerful and a huge honour. I love the messiness of humanity. The raw snotty, tear-stained eruptions that happen when people let themselves feel.

Unfortunately, most of us are not very good at experiencing our emotions. We often avoid our feelings as they can be painful and ugly. Who wants to invite pain and ugliness into their lives?

From an early age, our emotions were often shut down. We were taught not to cry, that it was not OK to get angry, that feeling jealous meant we were bad people. We were taught that our emotions are our enemies and that we should avoid them at all costs!

However, feelings are a necessary part of being human. 

The reality is that if you do not access and process your feelings, they will turn up in other ways.

High blood pressure, skin conditions like eczema, sore throats and heart attacks can all be manifestations of unprocessed anger. Kidney infections can come from being ‘pissed off’.

When we feel angry, sad, unworthy or unfulfilled on the inside, it shows up externally. We might use substances to mask these feelings, or we might use material objects to create a sense of success and fulfilment. Alcohol, smoking, vaping, shopping and even exercising can all be used to distract us from feeling our feelings.

The worst manifestation of unprocessed feelings is when they show up as disease in our bodies. Louise Hay talks about disease as ‘dis-ease’. Dis-ease is the way your body experiences pain. Last week, I recommended the book “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay - she believed that pain, discomfort or negative sensations are caused by emotions that are held within our bodies. When we don’t acknowledge and release emotions, dis-ease occurs: ‘The body, like everything else in life, is a mirror of our inner thoughts and beliefs. Our body is always talking to us; we just need to take the time to listen.’

Here is a link to a list of the causes and manifestations of emotional energy in the body - take a look at a part of your body and notice if the ‘cause’ feels true for you.

I worked with someone once who had two hernias. He was complaining about having to stop work to have an operation. I asked him if he was aware of the emotional manifestation behind hernias. He said, “I haven’t looked at that book you gave me - I'm pretty sure it's from lifting wheelbarrows.” “It might well be," I replied, "but I couldn’t help but notice that the emotional cause of hernias is ‘ruptured relationships,’ and you are divorced and do not speak to four of your siblings!”  

I love the personal awareness and responsibility of Louise’s work. I love the idea of discovering how our emotions show up in our bodies. Louise Hay is probably the most significant teacher I have had in my life. While I was lucky enough to meet her once, I have never been personally taught by her but I have spent the past 30 years swimming in her work, reading, learning and studying everything she has written and said.