Freedom

Freedom has always been one of my highest values and as I get older I seem to crave more and more of it!

My definition of freedom used to be that I could do what I wanted but now it has changed into 'that I don't have to do what I don't want to'.

As I step away from obligation in my life, this seems more and more important!

There are so many kinds of freedom, but here's what most people get wrong: they think freedom is about the ability to say yes. It's not. The crucial part of freedom is the capacity to say no. 

You get to live life on your terms. No longer setting yourself aside. Setting yourself free instead.

I have always been a stroppy bitch. I know what I want, and I have a tremendous drive to get it. Once I decide that I want something, very little will get in my way. Living life on my own terms has always been incredibly important to me. 

But here's the thing: to feel entirely free, it's vital to know what you want and how you want to live. What you want to earn and what is important to you. The process of getting to know yourself is a lot of work, but it is essential. The most significant project we ever work on is ourselves. 

THE DETACHMENT TRICK

Detachment is one of the most powerful tools available to us, but we don't use it enough.

My detachment trick is that I see myself as a car, and I'm driving through life having a marvellous time. Then along comes someone who's being difficult, who will not listen, who pretends they want help but won't take part in the support that is given. They become a trailer that you are towing.

Constantly hauling someone around is exhausting.

I just mentally detach the trailer and release them. In my head, I drive off. I say this to my kids all the time. "I've unhooked you. I'm detached on this."

Releasing people from your energy is a powerful thing to do, and it feels very freeing. You will feel lighter. You will feel better, because you can't help people who won't listen and don't want to be helped.

Detachment leads to freedom. Whenever we are attached to something, we are not free. This can apply to a behaviour, a substance, a habit or a person.

Writer and comedian Russell Brand says we all have addictions, with the most common one being problems. People look for complaints and drama. Proactively deciding to unhook yourself from problems is a great way to feel free.

In his book Recovery, he says: "We have been taught that freedom is the freedom to pursue our petty, trivial desires. Real freedom is freedom from our petty, trivial desires."

MONEY AND SUPPORT

Money and support are the two critical ingredients in feeling free in life.

Money will give you the necessary cash flow to make choices. A flow that makes you feel free at any moment to access money. Financial freedom means that you can say, "No, I'm not going to work that week because I have other things I want to do with my time." You are not bound by the restriction of earning money or living week to week.

Support means that you have the right people around you to do what you want. Having emotional and physical support gives you possibilities. Physical support frees up your time, and emotional support frees up your mind.

One of the secrets to living in freedom is not being affected by idiots. Being super concious of not taking things personally is something I have spent years learning. When you don't take things personally, you have immunity against other people.

I used to get very bound up in what other people thought. I worried and wasted so much time and energy. Now I know that what other people think of me is none of my business!

When you see someone in the street and they don't speak to you, we wonder what we've done. But you know what? You've done nothing. Maybe they didn't see you, or they were busy, or they were preoccupied, or something else was going on. It's so often got nothing to do with you.

We waste so much time and effort on getting bound up with things that happen, but no one else cares.

To feel free, I need space. In my calendar, my day, and in my head. Having space to do what I choose at any given moment is huge for me. I might decide to work or to clean, but I get to choose.

The luxury of time and money are my two significant measures of freedom.

2026 IS A FIRE HORSE YEAR

Horses are wild spirits that need space to roam. They resist being fenced in or controlled. The Fire element adds fierce determination to claim that freedom. Strong desire for autonomy and breaking free from constraints. People feel called to pursue their own path.

This is core Horse energy. Wild. Independent. Refusing to be controlled.

Next week my first online event for the year starts - FIRED UP. It's a three-week online program to harness Fire Horse energy as we kick off 2026. 

Week 2 focuses on Freedom & Independence - identifying what's holding you back and breaking free from it. 

26 January, 2 February, 9 February. 7:30 - 9pm NZT. Online. Recorded so you can watch in your own time. Pay what you can: $50, $100, or $150.

What are you going to do? Stay fenced in or run wild?