Anxiety
I was recently helping a friend who is suffering from anxiety.
Her head is a theme park - it’s filled with adventures and ideas and wonder. The trouble is that her theme park is open 24 hours! It’s an exhausting, messed up, busy place that she wants to escape. She thinks her head is a problem- something that she could ‘get rid of’.
I talked to her about reframing her thinking. About turning the box around and looking at it from another angle. “Sometimes the only thing we can change is our mind.” is a quote from my first book, Look Gorgeous Be Happy. Changing your mind is powerful - but changing your mind about your mind is completely mind-blowing!!!
My friend is clever. Possibly too clever. Her head is like a 256-gig iPhone. It has a HUGE capacity. But she is comparing herself to 68-gig iPhones rocking around town happily living their lives without too many apps open. They don’t get too complicated. The bonus of being an over-thinker is that you are clever. Dumb people don't overthink - they struggle to think once let alone repeat the process!
Having a big and busy head is complicated. It causes overthinking, it causes comparison and it causes procrastination. Constantly thinking is exhausting, comparing yourself to others is deliberating, and procrastination is just plain annoying. I love Liz Gilbert's quote from her stunning book, Big Magic, 'Procrastination is fear in a fur coat and heels" - It reminds me that if I am ever procrastinating about something, then it either isn't right for me or I am living in fear.
Theme parks need to be open, they need good management and they need downtime and maintenance. Just like heads!
Anxiety Action Plan:
Have a meeting with yourself. Ask a friend to sit in for perspective.
List everything on your mind. Work out what's important, what's annoying you and what's real. So much of the stuff we get concerned about is not real. It's imagined.
Identify what you have to do. Get rid of anything that someone else can do.
Remove anything that is not necessary. Put a line through anything not vital.
Take action. Do the things you ‘have to’ quickly and efficiently. Use a timer.
Do not compare your world to others. Others may ‘appear’ the same as you but you have no idea what their back story is or which chapter they are up to.
Be kind to yourself. Having a busy head is a lot. It takes energy and effort to get through the day.
Be gentle and generous with yourself!