The Courage to Be Inconvenient
As a highly trained people pleaser, it took me years to realise that my energy was more important than other people's convenience!
I had been taught as a child to be small, agreeable, and convenient for others. I bent my schedule, ignored my own needs, and compromised my boundaries - all to avoid being labeled "difficult" or "high-maintenance."
This people-pleasing pattern is one of the biggest energy drains I see, especially in women. We exhaust ourselves trying to accommodate everyone else while our own energy tanks run dry.
It takes courage to be inconvenient - to prioritise your energy needs even when they don't fit neatly into other people's expectations or plans.
Practice the art of healthy inconvenience:
Start speaking your truth. Say what you actually need. "That time doesn't work for me." "I need more information before I can decide." "I'm not available for that." Simple statements of your reality are not unreasonable!
Stop overexplaining your boundaries. You don't need a 10-minute justification for why you can't attend something. "I'm not able to make it" is a complete sentence.
Recognize when you're abandoning yourself. That familiar feeling of resentment is usually a sign you've prioritised someone else's convenience over your own well-being!
Practice disappointing people. Yes, practice! Start with small disappointments in safe relationships. You'll quickly discover most people are far more resilient to your boundaries than you feared.
Remember that your inconvenience is temporary. While it might feel momentarily uncomfortable to assert your needs, the long-term energy drain of constantly compromising yourself is far more costly.
Being true to your energy needs doesn't make you selfish - it makes you sustainable.
When you honor your own boundaries, you show up as your full, authentic self rather than a depleted version trying to please everyone.
The people who truly belong in your life will adjust to your boundaries. They might be momentarily inconvenienced, but they'll respect your honesty. They might even be delighted for you! Those who demand your self-abandonment aren't people you want to have in your world....
I love the idea that we teach people how to treat us. Every time you make yourself convenient at the expense of your energy, you're teaching people that your needs don't matter.
What's one way you could practice being healthily inconvenient this week?
ENERGY CLUB UPDATES:
Hey everyone! Energy Club's new home is almost ready. It's called Circle, an amazing platform that lets you access member exclusive contents in one place. You will be receiving emails about it soon. How exciting!