Making Friends with Difficult Emotions
Difficult emotions aren't energy thieves. Avoiding them is!
We live in a culture that treats uncomfortable emotions like unwelcome guests. The moment we feel anxious, sad, angry, or frustrated, we rush to fix it, distract from it, or numb it away. But here's what I've learned: the energy you spend avoiding difficult emotions is far greater than the energy it takes to feel them.
When you resist an emotion, you create an energetic traffic jam. The feeling gets stuck, and you have to use ongoing energy to keep it suppressed. It's exhausting!
Difficult emotions aren't problems to solve. They're information to receive. They're your internal guidance system trying to tell you something important about your life, your boundaries, or your needs.
Here's how to work with difficult emotions instead of against them:
Stop labelling emotions as good or bad. Anger isn't inherently negative. It often signals that a boundary has been crossed. Sadness isn't weakness. It's how we process loss and change. All emotions serve a purpose.
Practice the 90-second rule. Neuroscientist Jill Bolte Taylor discovered that emotions only last 90 seconds in your body if you let them flow through. It's when we resist or feed them that they stick around and drain our energy.
Get curious instead of judgmental. When a difficult emotion arises, ask: "What is this feeling trying to tell me?" Instead of "Why am I feeling this way again?" Curiosity creates space, judgment creates resistance.
Find healthy expression outlets. Emotions need movement to complete their cycle. This might be crying, journaling, talking to a friend, going for a run, or punching a pillow. Find what helps you move emotional energy through your system.
Thank your emotions for the information. This sounds weird, but it works. "Thank you, anxiety, for letting me know this situation feels unsafe." "Thank you, anger, for showing me my boundaries matter." Gratitude transforms resistance into flow.
The most emotionally intelligent people I know aren't those who never feel difficult emotions. They're the ones who've learned to dance with them. They understand that emotional energy is just energy, and energy needs to move.
When you stop fighting your feelings and start listening to them, you free up enormous amounts of energy that was trapped in resistance. You also gain access to valuable information about how to live more authentically.
This week, notice what emotions you've been avoiding. What might they be trying to tell you? How could you create safe space for these feelings to be heard?
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