Planning Joy
As I get older, I’m finding the things that give me pleasure are simpler. I like to watch birds. I watch the quality of light at the start and end of the day. I sing really loudly to a stupid song. Taking the time to do the things that make us glow and feel good inside is not a luxury, it is an essential part of living well.
Robert Holden is one of my favourite authors. He is a psychologist with a PhD in happiness and many books on the subject. He says:
"Happiness does not have to be deserved, earned, worked for or paid for;
it simply has to be accepted."
Believing that happiness and joy are part of being human is essential. I have worked with people who thought that joy and happiness were for other people, for lucky people! Often, I get asked why I am so happy – almost in a ‘what is wrong with you’ kind of way! But I am happy because I want to be. Because I believe that I deserve it. Because I choose to make joy part of my life.
Joy nourishes us. It is the magic warm moments that we can bank and call upon when times are tough. I love the word ‘nourished’ because it makes me think of big bowls of soup and wearing gorgeous fabrics or wrapping yourself in a beautiful blanket. And most importantly, being nourished is being surrounded by people who love and support us unconditionally.
One of my favourite poets, Donna Ashworth, wrote this gorgeous poem about called Joy Chose You.
Joy does not arrive with a fanfare,
on a red carpet strewn with the flowers of a perfect life.
Joy sneaks in, as you pour a cup of coffee,
watching the sun hit your favourite tree, just right.
And you usher joy away,
because you are not ready for it.
Your house is not as it must be,
for such a distinguished guest.
But joy cares nothing for your messy home,
or your bank-balance,
or your waistline, you see.
Joy is supposed to slither through the cracks of your imperfect life,
that’s how joy works.
You cannot truly invite her, you can only be ready when she appears.
And hug her with meaning,
because in this very moment,
joy chose you.
I love that joy does not require us to have a tidy house or a fat bank account or a slim waist! While I agree that joy is often in the small moments, I don’t agree that we need to sit back and wait for it to come. I think we can plan for joy. In fact, I think that it is vital.
What do you have coming up in your life that gives you joy? What is something you are looking forward to? People spend a lot of time talking about things that they want to do rather than going out and doing them.
I love to travel. I love ‘experiences’. Next month, I am heading back to Shanghai for the first time in over four years. I am taking a group away for a week in a magical city, eating incredible food, having amazing clothing tailor-made and experiencing an extraordinary culture!
I started these tours back in 2014 taking women shopping to have ‘anything they wanted’! Having clothing made to fit your body in fabrics and colours of your choice. China is a festival of fun and choices. The trip was designed for women who wanted to have some fun, and not have to deal with the stress of travelling alone. A group of fun women shopping and laughing for a week. That’s joy for me right there!
I have a tour planned in September - plan some joy and come with me!