Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day to everyone doing the Mothering!
Becoming a mother has taught me so much about myself, how strong I am, how resilient and quick thinking I can be, how soft and squidgy I am and how much love I have for so many.
Before I was a mother, my idols were high-achieving businesswomen. Within a month of giving birth I was in awe of anyone who could have a shower and cook a meal in one day!
I think of my children as tenants. Tenants who moved into my body and then moved out. Some are good tenants, others throw wild parties and completely mess up your building! As mothers, we sacrifice our bodies: our hormones, our pelvic floors and our waistlines!
As we give up our sleep, our money, our time and sometimes our minds!
Parenting is, in my experience, the most incredible personal development journey possible. Trying to be patient with a miniature version of yourself teaches us more than we can imagine!
Being permanently responsible for another's well-being causes both great angst and great joy. We sign up for this journey all idealistic. We have a vision. We have a plan. And then the child arrives! Some are calm, some are wilful, some are delightful and some are bloody challenging.
Parenting is hard. We are judged and misunderstood and in reality, 95% of us are just doing the best we can on whatever day it is.
After 25 years in the parenting game, I know that we are too hard on ourselves. We need to stop. We need to let go of our idealistic ideas and we need to forgive ourselves. We need to quit comparing ourselves to that parent who seems to have it all together. Trust me, they don’t. They’re struggling too at times.
When you have small children, the days are long but the years are short. Whatever stage your child is going through that might be frustrating you right now, it will pass. Quicker than we think. And then a new frustration will come up. Yay! But that one will pass, too. And eventually our kids will move out.
Three of my children have now left home. I was asked recently if that made me sad. It makes me glad. I love that I have helped facilitate three humans who are happy and healthy and ready to take on the world. I love watching and supporting them through the bumps and bruises of learning to be independent adults.
We all parent so differently, I believe that each child chooses their mother & father for what they have to learn. I am so very grateful to each of my four tenants for choosing me, it is an honour to be their Mum.
If you want some inspiration about Mothering - some strategies, some support and a few laughs then join me live online on Thursday at 8PM NZST for Mothers Matter.