The Future of Relationships
I am fascinated by relationships. I always have been. As the mother of two sons and two daughters, I am very interested in the future of human relationships. As I watch my adult children, the world has changed. Our young men need a different set of skills than their fathers and uncles needed! They need to catch up. What has been modelled to them is no longer going to work.
Women have spent decades doing the work. Not just the work in the homes and on their desks, but the deeper work. The therapy, the journalling, the hard conversations, the books, the courses, the retreats, the late nights questioning everything and the early mornings choosing to try again anyway.
They've fought for seats at tables that weren't built for them, advocated for themselves in rooms that didn't want to hear it, and pushed through systems designed to slow them down. They've learned to lead, to speak up, to set boundaries, to heal old wounds while still showing up fully. That growth didn't happen by accident. It was earned, fought for, and chosen over and over again. Women haven't just been getting ahead. They've been rebuilding themselves from the inside out, often while holding everything else together at the same time.
The gap is now visible. As a collective group, women have changed and many men haven’t. The stats say that 55% of women will not have children in 10 years' time. This is a huge problem for our young men who want to be fathers. They are going to have to be better if they want a woman to have a family with them.
As a public service announcement, these are the 8 skills that men need!
Active listening - truly hearing, not just waiting to speak.
Emotional regulation - managing your own reactions under pressure.
Empathy - understanding her perspective even when it differs from yours.
Vulnerability - the courage to be honest about your own fears, needs, and limitations.
Accountability - owning mistakes without deflecting or minimising.
Self-awareness - understanding how your behaviour affects others.
Presence - being genuinely there, not distracted or elsewhere.
Continuous learning - staying curious about the world.
In the past, women needed men. In the future, they need to want them!
What modern women want is:
Emotional intelligence. Being able to listen without fixing, hold space without judgment, and communicate feelings clearly. Women consistently report this as one of the most valued qualities in a partner, friend, or colleague.
Reliability and follow-through. Doing what you say you'll do. Trust is built in the small, consistent moments - not grand gestures.
Championing her ambitions. Actively supporting her goals, celebrating her wins without feeling threatened.
Sharing the mental and domestic load. In partnerships, noticing what needs to be done without being asked. The invisible labour of organising, anticipating, and managing is often carried disproportionately by women.
Safety - both physical and emotional. Creating environments where she feels secure, respected, and free to be herself without walking on eggshells.
Honest, respectful communication. Being direct without being brutal. Saying the hard things with care rather than avoiding them.
Showing up as a whole, self-aware person. Not someone who needs a woman to complete him, but someone who enriches her life because he's already doing the work on himself.
It's time for men to catch up. Not to compete with women, not to take up space in their movement, but to do their own work. The inner work. The uncomfortable, necessary, long-overdue work of becoming someone worth standing next to.