Anticipation and Outcomes

I had the most bizarre experience three weeks ago.

It started off as a simple idea. I wanted to honour my friend to celebrate his 50th birthday. The idea came when I was talking to him about his birthday week and he said he had to go to Greymouth for work. I then realised that I was working in Nelson which in my brain is not very far from Greymouth. (It is in fact 286 km!)

I set about planning. Planning is one of my favourite things. Planning and honouring. I planned every detail. I thought about all the things that my friend loved and would love and stuffed every corner of the experience.

I wanted it to be a surprise. Often when I tell people about my mad ideas, they try to counterbalance with loads of practical and dull reasons to talk me out of my madness. So off I went. I bought food, filled balloons, hired a car and booked accommodation.

I was so happy! Driving, smiling, literally filled with joy. I arrived at the very tiny Greymouth airport, carrying nine brightly coloured helium balloons - I love balloons and think that they have a childlike joy to them. They are as important to birthday joy as sprinkles are on a cake! Many people commented, children stared. I felt like I was in a movie. 

I filmed the plane arriving and I stood and watched each person wander down the ramp off the plane. Being crazy optimistic, I waited for the Air NZ crew to close the door before I would accept that my friend wasn’t on the plane! Still not perturbed, I assumed he had arrived on an earlier flight and headed to his accommodation. They told me that his trip had been cancelled!

So there I was in Greymouth with a car full of food and surprises, a handful of balloons and no one I knew!

The funniest thing was witnessing my response. I could not stop laughing! I laughed at myself - how happy I am to lean all the way into things that might never happen. How optimistic and effortful I was. 

I learnt so much from this experience. Ironically when I teach people and businesses about the importance of experience, the secrets of creating extraordinary experiences, I talk about the three stages. Anticipation, participation and reflection.

Anticipation is the feeling of excitement, the nervousness of pulling something off and the act of preparing in advance for something. I got that in spades. For two days, my body was flooded with all the oxytocin that fills us up when we do kind things, thoughtful things and fun things.

I did not get to participate in the experience with my friend. But I still had a wonderful experience. I got two days of doing all my favourite things. I drove, sang, planned, shopped and smiled. I cleared my calendar, I created space. I had four hours of driving time the next day to think about the importance of enjoying the process over the outcome. 

I was surprised at how detached I was from the outcome. I was not disappointed. I was happy. Happy that I made the effort, happy that my friend knew how much I wanted to honour him and happy for leaning into something that had no guaranteed outcome. 

Giving things a shot is a wonderful energy. Planning experiences and honouring people we love are excellent ways to spend our time! I have always loved this quote from Mark Twain and I still stand by it!

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did.”