The People in Your World
I love people. I have a lot of people in my world and I spend a lot of time trying to understand what makes them tick and what they need and want. Good people are like gold, they can make your day and often add a huge amount of value to your life.
We all have challenging people in our lives - often they are 'people that come free with your life' - not people you have 'chosen' but more of people who have turned up. They might be family, neighbours, co-workers or inlaws. I am a huge fan of having a people audit. Regularly identifying the people who contribute and contaminate your life is an exercise worth doing.
It's easy to do. Make a list of all the people in your world. Think about who you work with, are related to, share hobbies with, work with - anyone that you spend a decent amount of time with. Now rank them! Rank them starting with who is your favourite person right now... who is the person you are really enjoying right now? We all have different phases in our lives when some people feel more relevant than others. Getting conscious about who is actually contributing to your life can be a game-changer. Who wins the most valuable player in your life?
Who is someone you would like to spend more time with?
Who is someone that you think you 'should' spend more time with?
Who are the people that, if you are being completely honest with yourself, you could do with spending less time with?
There are some types of people who you need to be wary of. Think of the five types listed below and if anyone on your list sounds like one of them. Having awareness of the people you spend a lot of time with is a powerful thing. It helps you to manage your energy and make decisions about when and where you want to spend your time.
The Drama Queen wants attention, lives on adrenalin and often has no awareness. These people are dramatic 24/7. They burn your energy with all their huffing and puffing and thrashing around. They over-exaggerate and have dramatic reactions to things that happen. Unconsciously, they want attention. They don’t want their problems solved – as soon as their problems are solved, they head straight out looking for new ones.
The Human Dumpster wants relief, lives in constant overwhelm and needs to take some time out to reflect. These people vomit their problems all over you with regular toxic venting. They are desperate to dump the yucky feelings they are carrying around onto you! They are heavier than the Drama Queen, more negative. They don’t want to take any responsibility for their lives. They have no interest in whether what they are sharing is relevant, helpful, accurate or even of interest to you; they just have to ‘get it out’.
The Control Freak wants power, they have incredibly high expectations and need to work on their personal awareness. They hold on tightly to everything yet cannot work out why life is so torturous. They are white-knuckling everything. Controlling and judging are their favourite things to do. To bring a sense of safety to their worlds, they want to control as much as they can!
The Virtuous Victim - these guys love sympathy, they are always looking for someone to blame. The theme with these people is that everything happens ‘to’ them. They have zero agency and are always complaining about what someone has ‘done to them’. They always have someone who is treating them unfairly or large problems that never seem to be fixed.
The Mighty Narcissist. This type is addicted to attention. They act like they are superior to others, expecting special treatment wherever they go. They crave admiration and require constant praise. They think that they are special. They are quick to anger if things don’t go their way, are extremely self-involved and have very little concern for the needs of those around them.
I have had all of these types of people in my world. The trick is to be aware of them and to have strategies and boundaries when you are dealing with them.
Don't buy into the drama queen's drama. Limit the amount of time you give the dumpsters. Don't let control freaks take over your thinking or ideas. Ask victims what they can do about any of their situations to shift the power back to them and be careful not to overfeed a narcissist with attention!
LISA LOVES:
Magnesium is a really important mineral and this salt spray has been a game-changer for my sleep!
Calm the mind and body with a few sprays to your feet and stomach every night before bed. You will wonder how you ever lived without it!
