Building Better Boundaries
Boundaries aren't walls. They're energy management systems!
I used to think boundaries were about keeping people out, about being mean or unfriendly. But I've learned that boundaries are actually about managing energy flow. They're not about shutting down. They're about staying switched on.
Without boundaries, you become a human energy sponge, absorbing everyone else's stress, drama, and emotions. You end up carrying stuff that isn't yours and losing yourself in the process.
Strong boundaries aren't selfish. They're sustainable. When you protect your energy appropriately, you can show up fully for what matters most.
Here's how to create energy-smart boundaries:
Recognise when your energy is being hijacked. That feeling of heaviness after certain conversations, the exhaustion after spending time with particular people, the depletion that follows certain activities. These are your energy alarm bells.
Practice the energy pause. Before automatically saying yes to requests, pause and check in with your energy. "Does this align with my energy availability right now?" It's not about being difficult. It's about being honest.
Create different boundary types for different situations. Soft boundaries for close relationships, firm boundaries for energy vampires, and flexible boundaries for situations that change. One size doesn't fit all.
Communicate your boundaries with kindness. "I care about you, and I need to leave by 8pm to protect my energy for tomorrow" is clear, kind, and effective. Most people respect honesty more than resentful compliance.
Maintain your boundaries consistently. If you set a boundary and then ignore it, you train people to push through your energy protection. Consistency builds respect for your energy needs.
The people with the strongest energy aren't those who never set boundaries - they're those who've learned to protect their energy while staying open to meaningful connection.
Boundaries aren't about building fortress walls around yourself. They're about creating sustainable ways to engage with the world that preserve your vitality and authenticity.
When you get boundaries right, you stop feeling drained by relationships and start feeling nourished by them. You become more present, more generous, and more yourself.
What boundary do you need to create or strengthen to better protect your energy? How might your relationships improve if you were more honest about your energy needs?
ENERGY CLUB UPDATES:
If you missed the first session of Reclaim Your Life last Tuesday night, watch the replay here. We talked about the absolute power of being your whole, authentic self, passions, difficult bits and all.
Join us for the Reprogram session on Tuesday September 16th, 730pm NZ.