If I had one wish for the world, it would be for every person to have the safety and the courage to be fully self-expressed.
Self-expression requires people to feel safe and comfortable. For people to be comfortable to authentically share their true self with the world. To feel safe to share their thoughts, feelings, values, and identity, without reservation or inhibition.
I dream of a world where this is possible. Where diversity of thought and ideas is shared by people whose insides align with their actions. People who know who they are and what they stand for.
I think that being ourselves is our job. It's why you are here. To express and experience yourself.
Everything we do expresses who we are. How we show up, how we dress, and what we do, except when you are being someone else’s version of you.
The version of you that you were rewarded for being. The version of you who met the expectations of those around you. After several centuries on the planet, we often wake up to the fact that we are someone else’s version of ourselves.
To be able to fully self-express you need to
Know yourself. You need to know what you like, what you love, what lights you up.
Know what you will and will not accept in your life.
Know what you value and what you think is important.
My four favourite tools that will help you understand and express yourself are:
1. Notice
Notice your reaction to things, to people, to circumstances. Notice the things that wind you up, that you feel passionate about, or want to change. Notice what makes you angry. What frustrates you?
2. Journal
Journal your experiences, your thoughts, and the answers to your questions. I am a big fan of 'morning pages' - three pages of longhand, stream-of-consciousness writing done first thing in the morning. The practice was created by Julia Cameron in her 1992 book, The Artist's Way.
3. Speak
The third tool is your voice. Start speaking your truth. Say what you think and think about what you say. So often in conversations, we are simply going through the motions, unconsciously contributing to nothing, just filling in the space between ourselves and another.
We have been taught that keeping the peace, not being offensive and being agreeable are all good things.
Sometimes they are, except when you are doing it at the expense of yourself. Being able to sit with someone with whom you do not agree is a sign of deep personal development.
4. Change
Allowing change. Often the people around us view our personal or professional growth as a bad thing because it might end up being bad for them. When we grow and change, others get concerned. It suits them if you stay small. It suits them if you stay the same. It means that their relationship with you is unlikely to change. People fear change. They fear the growth of others.
We have to get better with change. To accept it and I think to seek it!
The best visual I have for change are deciduous trees. I am quite obsessed with trees. I think they are incredibly wise and I love to learn from them. Think about an autumn tree, full of beautiful deep orange, bold yellow and red leaves all gently letting go. They are letting go of their old selves. They do not do this with any aggression or trying. It just happens. It happens because they trust the process. They know the season that they are in. The leaves drop effortlessly. The tree trusts the process that new leaves will come.
When we let our old selves go, we become lighter. When our energy is light and authentic, we become more 'attractive'. We become energetically magnetic. People are drawn to us being who we are. Subconsciously when we are our true selves, we give other people permission to do the same.
None of it is as easy as it sounds. You have been made wrong for most of your life. You have received more messages from the world about what is wrong with you than what is right!