How often do you let yourself down?

Not let others down - read that again - let yourself down.

We make promises to ourselves and then don’t follow through.

I have been letting myself down for years! Not attending the gym, drinking coffee instead of the lemon and warm water I promise myself each morning.

I feel like my life has been a trail of over-promising and under-delivering to myself!

I find it interesting how easy it is to let ourselves down when we take commitments to other people so seriously.

It's the ultimate example of honouring others over ourselves.

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I had an over whelming response to my blog earlier this week! It was World Diabetes Day and I wrote about my three children who all have been diagnosed with Type 1.

People said lovely things. Some asked questions. There were many who wanted to know “How do you do it?”. “How do you seem so light when life is obviously very heavy sometimes?”

I love this question. Without sounding like a fucking annoying positivity freak. I love the idea that while you cannot control what happens to you - you can handle how you respond. Regardless of what is happening in your life you get to control how you handle it.

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Twelve years ago I took my 8 year old daughter to the doctors concerned that she had lost weight, was incredibly grumpy and was eating and drinking a lot more than ever before. My doctor said she was probably just having a growth spurt and not to worry. As we walked out he said 'we could test her blood sugar levels if you want'? Her blood sugars were 29.8 (A ‘normal’ person's blood sugars sit between 4 - 6). The nurse offered me a cup of tea and a hug - I still had no idea what this number meant and then the doctor suggested we call an ambulance!

I had no idea what Type 1 diabetes was. I remember asking the doctor, “how long will this last?!”

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Being a parent is the hardest job that I have ever done.

It requires me to be hard and soft, relaxed and astute, brave and vulnerable.

As a Mother, from the moment you find out you are pregnant you start putting your baby's needs ahead of your own. You stop eating shellfish, you no longer allow yourself the joys of coffee or wine! And once they're born your life is unrecognisable. Nothing is the same. Not your body, not your relationships and not your timetable.

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Attention is rare and special. It is generous to give people attention. We are living in an attention crisis. Over stuffed schedules, an addiction to tech devices and a dopamine desire that sees many of us hopping around from one thing to another!

Intention is beautiful. The rare combination of thoughtfulness and action!

Intention can be defined as something that you want and plan to do. More than wishful thinking, it is wilful direction. A direction you want to go in. Intentional living simply means to live the life that you truly want. A life by design of your choosing, rather than living a life that just ‘happens’ to you. It is about conscious patterns of thought, energy and action. It sounds wonderful and simple in theory, but of course there are barriers that need to be overcome. As always, these barriers are mostly our thoughts!

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Yesterday I ran a leadership workshop. I love helping people to be better. Better leadership for me always starts with awareness.

Awareness, generosity, effort, gratitude and choice.
We went deep into the strengths and talents of the leaders in the room and then moved into identifying their gaps.

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I have a funny relationship with time. I don’t really believe in it. My personality is a little oppositional so I don’t really like doing things because a calendar or watch tells me too. I started 2023 on Feb 1st. January got away on me. I finished 2023 this week at the end of October! 2023 feels done.

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Two years ago this week one of my beautiful friends was released from life school. He died. Passed away. Moved on. Clocked out. I miss his hugs, I miss his voice. I still have coffee and walk with him regularly!

I have always been really comfortable with the concept of death. It's the only thing you can guarantee in life. It's one of our only certainties. I find it intriguing that something that is unavoidable and so obvious is so challenging for people to discuss.

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Life begins at the end of your comfort zone…

About 10 years ago I attended a yoga retreat in the Coromandel. There I met a wonderful teacher, Neal Gloshal.

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There are so many people ‘hanging in there’ right now.

Unconsciously going about their days like zombies. Doing the doing. Getting up and putting their pants on. Not actively choosing, planning or selecting any part of their day. They are on auto pilot. I get it. Some are bored; uninspired or restless. Some are burnt out; exhausted and depleted.

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What is the energy that you want in your world?

I want to be surrounded by beauty - cue flowers and colourful cushions!

I want to be able to think, to allow space for my thoughts to run riot around in the playground of my head - no radios, background noise or boring chatter.

I want to be inspired - lit up by the people I speak to - a gathering of motivated, authentic, self-starters who I can share my mad ideas with or empathise with the challenges of their plans.

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“Hopelessly devoted to?"

Grease is one of my most favourite movies, packed with memories and nostalgia.

On the weekend I could not get Olivia Newton John’s song ‘Hopelessly Devoted to You’ out of my head!

I started to consider what I am devoted to?

I have been devoted to many things in my life. Partners, children, roles, businesses and causes. As humans we have many phases!

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I am sick of feeling shit. It’s been a rough few years. Years of struggle of responsibility and being emotionally exhausted. The fatigue of the fuckery is real.

People everywhere are weighed down with responsibility, obligation and commitments. Many of us have been keeping calm and carrying on for too long. Carrying people, businesses and roles. Going through the motions of the post pandemic world with all its delays, disruption and difficulty.

When apathy sets in I know I am in trouble. I am a passionate and caring person. When I wake up with no fucks to give, I need an intervention!

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Where are the people in your life? It’s a great question.

Some of them are in front of you:
Leading the way. The people who seem to already be here you are wanting to go. These people are people worth following. Worth keeping an eye on and connecting with. People you can learn from.

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Compromise is great in small doses and often necessary to keep relationships smooth and enjoyable. The older I get the less interested I am in compromise!

One of the greatest examples of compromise was taught to me years ago, based on a wonderful metaphor using bacon and eggs.

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Fear fucks up so many things!

It stops us deciding, taking action and playing. It makes us play small and be less curious.

I spent the weekend sewing. I have piles of fabric and ideas that have been mounting up and I finally decided that these things needed birthing!

I am a terrible sewer. Many people have confirmed this! My mother, my sewing teachers and friends. I am ‘rip shit and bust’, impatient and not very good with instructions. While it’s useful that patterns come with a ‘method’ that should be helpful, I simply am not able to follow along!

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I have a wonderful friend called Rosie who I met a few weeks after she moved to New Zealand from Korea. Her English was very limited and we had hilarious conversations and a few games of charades to communicate when we first met.

We were talking about our families and she asked me, “In your house, are you plenty power?” I asked her what she meant. Rosie said ”I am in charge. I am powerful woman. I am plenty power.” Oh yes I said - I am plenty power too! I love this saying and use it a lot. Rosie was talking about the difference between our cultures and how she saw New Zealand women as ‘modern woman’ unlike some Korean women who are very subservient to their husband’s and children.

I think this is a great affirmation to repeat 10 times a day. ”I am plenty power!”

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I love balloons!

I also love metaphors. I think that life is like a balloon. Without any air or life force it's a little bit limp! Flat and uninspiring.

Balloons, like life, need effort.

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My answer to this question - every time is late!

I used to be a shocker for being late - while I am not completely cured of my lateness disease, I am way more conscious of time. I realised that it was both unprofessional and arrogant to arrive late - especially if you are carrying a coffee! People that walk into the office late with a takeaway coffee really annoy me! Not only have they disregarded others by not being on time but they have stopped and ordered a drink!

Being organised in the morning was something I had to get good at. Trying to get myself out the door with four children was a mission!

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As a child, I had a cousin who was a serial offender when it came to pooing in swimming pools.

I am not sure whether this was a reaction to being relaxed in the water or if he just found everyone’s reaction incredibly funny.

For those of us in the water it was not funny - the faster you run away from ‘a floater’ the quicker it seems to follow you. I was explaining this to a woman I am mentoring and how ‘code brown’ can be a problem in everyday life. The thing you are moving away from will often follow you!

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