I am a reformed control freak

I used to love control - in fact, I immersed myself in it. I wanted to control everything & everyone.

I was exhausted! It didn’t work and I found myself constantly disappointed.

Over the past few years I have become very sure about what I need, and want, to control.

I have chosen three things. Mind, Mood & Money.

Mind

Controlling your mind is key. It's the key to being in charge of yourself, it's the key to living a life you want, and it's the key to being the captain of your own life.

I think of my mind as a beautiful white airy room. It's open and fresh and has space to wonder. It has two open windows. Thoughts can come and go. Some stay, some don’t. This room has a minimalist theme. Only useful things are kept - all the clutter and shit that other people have stored in there can leave.

Spending time noticing your thoughts is a great way to sort your head. Some people like to sit in special positions, some like to light candles, some like to walk. I like to wander around in silence. Pottering around my house, wandering around shops and walking with my wee dog. Motion seems to help my clarity. Do what works for you. Start a daily practise of noticing, filing and sorting your thoughts.

Mood

I pride myself on being approachable and easy to get along with. I have bad moods but I do not make them others peoples problems. Controlling my mood is a public service! It's about keeping myself tidy. No one likes a moody bitch. No one wants to hang out with dramatic attention seekers, who stomp around trying to get recognised for how hard they have made their lives!

If you're in a bad mood - do something about it. Do something nice for yourself, or for others. Phone a friend who can pull you out of being "Moody Judy". Take yourself away. Do not make your mood other people's problem. Be responsible for the energy that you bring into a room - how you show up, who you are being.

Money

I spent the first 1/3 of my life ignoring money. Don’t get me wrong, I liked it but I never took any responsibility for it. It came, it went - mostly it went! But I had no interest in it. I kept going until the card said no!

Then I realised that it was affecting my mind and my mood. Not being in charge of my cash was causing me grief. I had no systems. I told myself that I didn’t care. And I didn’t!

But once I got organised, shit got easier. My phone did not get cut off because I forgot to pay the bill. I had money aside for the things I needed to pay for. Like it for not, money is a huge part of life. We need it. We need to know what we have, what we need and where it is.

Mikayla Whetton