Contributing or Contaminating?
People are one of my biggest passions. Being a raving extrovert, the thought of being around lots of people, meeting new people and learning about what makes people tick fills many of my days. I believe that the quality of the people in your life has a huge effect on the quality of your life. Everyone who is in your life is either contributing or contaminating your world.
Here are my people tenants.
- I have friends that honour me, understand me and love me.
- I have family that support me, celebrate me and love me.
- I have a life partner that adores me, helps me and loves me.
- I have children that teach me, challenge me and love me.
I like to think that everyone that features in your life you have in your life for a reason. The people that really annoy you can often teach you so much.
The people we choose to have in our lives are often a reflection about how we feel about our selves. Which is why like sticks to like!
Humans feel safe in tribes. Sports people hang in sports tribes, brainy people hang in brainy tribes and criminals hang in gang tribes. The people we choose to change with affirm our beliefs about ourselves. But what about the people that 'come free' with your life? Your parents, siblings and all the odd relatives that you would never have selected consciously!
Families were once described to me as "a bunch of unrefined gems that are gathered together in a little velvet bag" The job of the stones is to bump and rub together removing our rough edges. I believe that at some level we select the stones we are in the velvet bag with. We select them for what we can learn, good or bad about ourselves and each other. I love the thought that the people in our lives are designed to challenge us and help us become smoother souls! Sometimes people will gently buff up against you and some will crash and crack you!
There is definitely a theme of love and energy in my world. Love and energy are what we are. Love and energy is our job.
When you love what you do, who you are and those around you your life works. When you put energy into what you do, who you are and those around you your life works.
Sometimes loving people takes a huge amount of energy. A wise woman told me when I have three very young children that children need love when they least deserve it! It reminds me of the millions of tantrums that I have endured as a parent. Tantrums from frustrated 2 years olds, from power hungry 4 years olds and now from belligerent 15 year olds!
It is important that you work out who is contaminating your life and who is contributing to it. People who are contributing will add value: they will improve your life, lift your energy and make you feel better.
People who are contaminating will drag you down, point out all the things that won’t work and generally bring down your buzz. It is sometimes hard to see the ‘gift’ in the relationship. Sometimes we see it much much later.
I spend a lot of time trying to love and understanding the people in my velvet bag, I am less tolerant with others. If you don’t contribute to my life you will be gone. I do not have time for energy robbers. Go out of your way to avoid them. Make a list of who they are. Do not answer their calls, do not meet them for coffee. Protect your energy from those who might contaminate it.